Falling for the Ghost of You Read online

  "Ah, don't!"

  "I think that cop would've taken you up on your offer if I hadn't been there."

  Mom cringes. "It wasn't an offer!"

  She suddenly bursts out laughing, and I join in. We giggle our heads off--until Mom accidentally runs a red light.

  After a breathless silence, Mom clears her throat.

  "So, " she says. "That Zane is really cute, huh?"

  I freeze, my cheeks instantly heating up. "I guess," I mutter.

  "Charming, too. Bill doesn't really say much about him, but I get the feeling he's a bit of a player."

  "Mm-hmm."

  Mom swings her blue-eyed gaze towards me. "Well...he's going to be your step brother, so you'll probably be seeing a lot of him, and—oh, I don't know. I guess I'm trying to say, a guy who looks like that, what woman—or girl—wouldn't maybe get a crush on him? Which would be a bad idea because—"

  "Whoa, Mom," I interject, holding up a hand in a stopping motion. "Are you trying to tell me you're crushing on...Bill's son?"

  "What? N-no!" Mom sputters. "I mean—that is ridiculous! I'm not a cougar! I was talking about you, Violet."

  "Me, what?"

  She takes a deep breath. "I hope you see Zane as a future brother, and not anything else. Okay?"

  "Um...okay."

  Did she see me looking at him like a piece of meat? Is that why she called me a hooker? How embarrassing!

  "I just don't want you to get hurt," Mom is saying. "And any guy who looks like that—well, he's bound to break your heart."

  I don't say anything. Is she thinking about my father? He was handsome and charming, and he broke her heart with his cheating ways.

  And look what happened with Matt. He didn't exactly break my heart, but he destroyed my trust. Do all guys cheat? Some days, it seems like it.

  This is depressing.

  I turn back to the window, lost in thought. I want to brood over Matt's betrayal, but a pair of gorgeous dark eyes keep popping up in my head, distracting me.

  No! I will those eyes to disappear. Mom is right. Any guy who looks like Zane would surely break my heart. And what did I want with a broken heart?

  Absolutely nothing.

  ******

  Chapter 6

  My first day as a senior.

  Why did I expect things to be different this year? I go to my classes, see the same people, barely talk to anyone except for Lauren.

  Well, I would have been walking the halls of Hidden Cove High with my boyfriend. Instead, it's just me and Lauren, keeping our heads down as we push through the crowds. Neither of us are very patient, and we have no problem shoving people aside.

  Why, yes, we are on the same menstrual cycle.

  I haven't seen Matt or Rachel yet, but I know we all have Mr. Tanner for AP English. I consider skipping class, but what's the point of delaying the inevitable?

  "Are you going to tutor this year?" I ask Lauren as we stop by her locker.

  She makes a face as she shrugs out of her jacket. "I don't know. It depends on Mr. Tanner. I heard he's a jerk, and he's always coughing right in peoples' faces."

  "Gross. Let's sit in the back."

  "Fine by me." Lauren slams her locker shut and looks at me appraisingly. "So, are you ready?"

  I bite my lip nervously, and lean against the wall for support. "I don't know," I admit. "Have you heard anything? Is anyone talking about it?"

  “A few people,” she replies honestly. “Brooklynn asked me if it was true this morning.”

  “Ugh. She’s liked Matt since eight grade. What did you tell her?”

  “I said she should just ask you if she’s really that nosy.”

  I laugh. “I saw her in the commons, but she didn’t say anything to me. I saw Danny, too, but he didn’t say anything, except, ‘nice tits’ to me.”

  “Okay, there’s a silver lining,” Lauren says with a smile. “You won’t have to put up with that idiot anymore.”

  “True. I never understood why Matt was friends with him. He’s such a creepy perv.” Anger starts boiling in my veins. “Or maybe they have more in common than I realized.”

  We stomp towards English class. A muscular brown-haired boy smiles at Lauren as we pass by him. “Hi, Lauren.”

  Lauren nods in greeting. He heads in the opposite direction, and I turn to her, eyes wide. “Was that Chase? Wow, he got tall over the summer! And he must’ve been working out, too.”

  Lauren shrugs indifferently. “I saw him yesterday at the store. He said he’s been helping his uncle out at his farm.”

  I study her expression carefully, but she gives nothing away. I know Chase likes her, but does she like him back—especially now that he’s new and improved? Hard to say with Lauren.

  Well, we’re almost to our class. Here we go.

  The room is about half full. Mr. Tanner isn’t there yet, so kids are kind of roaming around, chatting with each other.

  I spot Matt instantly. He's half-sitting, half-leaning on a desk, talking animatedly to Fitz Carvallio. Rachel's back is pressed up against him, and he's got his arms wrapped around her waist.

  It's the pose of a couple, familiar and intimate with each other. Seeing them like that is a slap in the face. I quickly turn my head.

  Lauren taps my shoulder and gestures toward the back of the class. I follow her lead gratefully. Is it my imagination, or did it just get quieter in here? I dump my things on my desk, careful not to make eye contact with anyone.

  “No one’s looking,” Lauren mumbles under her breath.

  I sigh in relief. I can’t help but steal a glance at Matt from under my lashes. Rachel is standing next to him instead of leaning against him, and he’s got his arms crossed awkwardly, studiously avoiding looking in my direction.

  Great.

  For some reason, Zane pops into my head. I remember telling him the things I didn’t like about Matt. Then I mentally replay the scene where Matt's chatting to Fitz, with Rachel cozying up to him—only this time I can see him spitting into her hair as he talks.

  I start laughing. I cover my mouth with my hands, muffling the sound, but I am giggling so hard, my eyes start to water. Lauren glances at me in concern, but I just shake my head. I picture Matt and Rachel holding up their arms, showing off matching BFF bracelets—only both wrists are so thin and fragile, you can’t tell who’s who.

  Then I see myself breaking that delicate wrist, and Matt screaming, “Arrgh, mate! What’d you go and do that for?! I’ll never be able to have me a barbie again!”

  I don’t know why. My imagination is a weird place, okay?

  At least I feel a little better now.

  A teacher finally shows up, but it's not the rotund wheezing Mr. Tanner. A very young looking, very handsome guy with strawberry blonde hair, glasses, and a short beard introduces himself as Mr. Jensen, a substitute for Mr. Tanner. I notice some of the girls take notice as he talks.

  "We'll go over the syllabus, so you guys kinda know what to expect this year. Then you all can introduce yourselves while I pretend to listen," Mr. Jensen says with a laidback smile. The class laughs appreciatively.

  Lauren and I exchange blah looks. We both hate the stand up in class and talk about yourself thing. Lauren always talks too softly, and I always end up sounding psycho.

  "Lauren Cooper."

  Lauren rolls her eyes at me, and half-stands at her desk. "I'm Lauren," she mumbles, and that's all I can make out—and I'm sitting right next to her.

  "Speak up, Lauren. I don't read lips," Mr. Jensen says. His nice hazel eyes twinkle behind his glasses.

  Lauren glares at him, looking like a pissed off kitten. "I'm Lauren," she snaps. She plops back down in her seat.

  "Oo-kay, I think we've established that. Care to tell us anything else?"

  "Nope."

  I don't know how she gets away with talking to teachers like that, but she does. Maybe it's because she looks so cute when she's mad. Even her hair sticks up cute.

  As if to make up for
Lauren's curtness, everyone else seems to be in an extra sharing mode. When it's Matt's turn, he talks in his ridiculous "Australian" accent. People laugh, but I cringe in embarrassment for him.

  "—and this is my right best summah evah 'cause I fell in love with this beautiful sheila."

  Matt's grin is huge as he points dramatically to a blushing Rachel sitting at the desk next to him.

  My jaw drops open. I can't believe he just announced it in class like that!

  Everyone's looking at me for my reaction. Flushing hotly, I stare down at the scarred surface of my desk.

  "Asshole," Lauren says quite clearly.

  "Excuse me, Lauren?" Mr. Jensen says. "Did you decide you want to share something after all?"

  "Nope."

  I refuse to look up. Tears of humiliation threaten to fall, so I keep my eyes wide, willing them to dry up.

  How could he do that? What, all of a sudden he doesn't care about my feelings anymore? I have to wonder if he was always this big of a wad, or did losing his virginity fry something in his little brain?

  I hate him. I hate her!

  "Violet Mercer."

  Great.

  I don't bother to stand. "I'm Violet," I growl. "I thought I lost something this summer, but I just realized, I never needed it."

  Total silence.

  Then someone mutters, "Is she talking about her virginity?"

  In retrospect, I realize I could have worded that better.

  Thank God the day is over. I'm exhausted, like I've been through a war. All I want to do is lie in bed and cry tears of self-pity. And then order a meaty pizza. I'm starving!

  "I need to get my jacket from my locker," Lauren reminds me as I make a beeline for the door.

  I sigh and reverse direction. "Okay."

  On the way there, I hear someone call my name. It's Kim Marshall, Matt's younger sister.

  I like Kim. Like her brother, she's always good natured and cheerful. She knows all the latest gossip, but never spreads any herself.

  "Violet, just because my brother is a giant douche bag, I hope that doesn't mean we can't still be friends," Kim says, an anxious look on her pretty face.

  "Of course not," I reassure her. "I've always liked you better, anyway."

  Kim laughs and nods. "You know, everyone's telling Matt that you were too hot for him, anyway so it’s good he downgraded. I can't believe him and Rachel!"

  I shrug. What can I say to that?

  "Oh, and I hear your English sub is pretty hot," she says, opening up her locker.

  "He's okay," I say.

  "I don't like him," Lauren says flatly. "But you probably would, Kim. He's blonde and kinda scruffy."

  Everyone knows Kim has a thing for scruffy blonde guys. Just look at her locker—it's plastered with pictures of the singer, Aiden Cross and John Heller—some WWE wrestler, I assume from the pictures. Aiden Cross is gorgeous, and his voice is amazing—as are his darkly beautiful songs. But that other guy is scary-looking, from his huge bulging muscles, to the bloodthirsty look in his sea green eyes. Kim is obsessed with them both.

  "Hmm, maybe I'll have to visit your class someday," she says, waggling her eyebrows. "Well, I'm off to my job at Freezy Pete's. You guys should stop by sometime. My shift ends at nine."

  We agree to visit her soon, then we exchange goodbyes, and Lauren and I head for the parking lot.

  I feel better after talking to Kim. I'm glad she still wants to be friends, despite me hating her brother's guts. I wonder if she'll be friendly with Rachel, too?

  No. I quickly banish that thought from my head. That's none of my concern.

  "At least you got that awkward first run-in over with," Lauren says as we get into my car.

  "Yup," I sigh. "And now everyone thinks I’ve lost my virginity. I can tell this is going to be an awesome year."

  "Oh, V," she says comfortingly. "Most people think you lost it a long time ago, anyway."

  Great. Thanks, Lauren. I can always count on my best friend to make me feel better.

  ******

  Chapter 7

  Mom is leaving for her honeymoon, and I don't want her to go!

  "You can't overdo it," I tell her for the fifth time.

  We're at the airport right now. Bill and Jane are here, too, but I ignore them.

  "I'll be fine, Violet." Mom laughs. Her eyes are sparkling excitedly. She can't wait to get on that plane.

  "And remember to stay away from anyone that looks sick. But even if they don't look sick, they could still—"

  "Violet."

  Mom stops my babbling by putting both hands on my cheeks. "We don't have to worry about that, anymore. I'm okay. In fact, I've never felt better in my life."

  I stare into her shining eyes, seeing the happiness there—and I swallow all my words of caution. "Maybe I just don't want you to have too much fun without me."

  Mom grins and squeezes my cheeks together. "You'll always be there in my thoughts," she says sweetly.

  "I hope not always," I say through squished lips. "At least, not when you and Bill are getting it on."

  "Violet!" Mom laughs and lets go of my face. She turns to Jane to hug her goodbye.

  I look over at Bill who is standing there, fidgeting with his armful of electronic devices. I suppose he has them out and ready for when they go through security.

  "Have a good trip, Bill," I say. "Send me lots of cool pictures."

  He nods at me, a hint of a smile on his lips. "I will. I'll take care of her, too."

  I tentatively pat his shoulder. "Thank you."

  We all say our goodbyes, and then all too soon, Mom and Bill get in line at the security checkpoint. Both Jane and I are sniffing at this point.

  "Doesn't Lily look so beautiful?" Jane sighs, staring dreamily after Mom.

  I've always wondered if Jane had a thing for her. Sometimes, the way she looks at her...it's kinda like the way I used to look at Twinkies.

  Or the way I stared at Zane...

  “Well, kiddo,” Jane says, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “Looks like it’s just you and me. How do you feel about pizza and Ho Ho’s for dinner?”

  “Jane,” I reply, looking at her. “I’m think I’m going to love staying with you.”

  “Oh, my God, Violet. You can’t stay with me, anymore!”

  I sit up from the couch I had been lying on. “Huh?”

  Jane is pacing back in forth, cell phone in hand. Her bushy black hair is floating in a disheveled cloud around her head. “Emily’s going into labor right now,” she says tersely. “I have to go to her.”

  My eyes widen in concern. Emily is her only daughter, pregnant with Jane’s first grandchild. “Isn’t she only six or seven months along?”

  “Six and a half. I need to book a flight to Atlanta…oh, where did I put my purse?”

  I point towards the kitchen. “I saw it on the counter, next to the microwave.”

  “Thanks.” She stands there indecisively. “I don’t know what to do—I don’t know how long Emmy will need me to be with her. I guess I should call your mother. Or…is there anyone you can stay with?”

  I bite my lip, thinking. I quickly discard Lauren from my prospects. Her apartment is way too crowded already, and her mom is really weird about people staying the night over there—I doubt she’d allow it. Who else did that leave? Not Matt’s, for obvious reasons. God, I don’t know. None of my relatives live close enough to Hidden Cove for it to even be feasible, and I’m not close enough friends with anyone else to ask. “Can’t I just stay here by myself?” I ask.

  Jane mulls it over, but then quickly shakes her head. “No, no! The whole point of you staying here is so you wouldn’t be alone. Lily would freak. Oh, I hate to do it, but we don’t have a choice. I guess I’ll call her…”

  “No, wait!”

  There is no way I’m going to allow this to interrupt Mom’s dream vacation. And knowing her, she would immediately hop on a plane and head back home. I couldn’t let her do that.
r />   “You know what? I can stay with Lauren,” I say quickly. “It’s totally fine. I can sleep on the couch, no problem.”

  Jane hesitates. “Are you sure? Call her right now and ask.”

  “Um…okay.”

  I jump off the couch and grab my phone off the coffee table. Pretending to punch in her number, I walk towards the kitchen for privacy. Then, in case Jane is listening in, I pretend to have a conversation with Lauren, in which she agrees to let me stay at her place.

  When I come back out into the living room, Jane stares at me hopefully. I force a smile and nod. “She said yes.”

  She sighs in relief. “Oh, thank God! Okay, I’ve got to order my ticket online, and pack and everything. Honey, do you think you could book the flight for me? My credit card is in my purse—use the business one, though. I don’t think I have room for a ticket on my other ones.”

  “Sure, no problem.”

  I secure a one way flight for her from here to Atlanta, leaving at seven-fifty tonight—in five hours. Jane runs around frantically, packing her bags and worrying about her daughter. I try to stay out of her way, doing whatever she asks of me.

  Finally, she is packed and ready for me to drive her to the airport. She checks her purse anxiously, making sure she has everything.

  “I gave you a key, right?” she asks again as we head out the door.

  “Yep."

  "Okay. I called Linda from next door to check on my apartment and water my plants, so you don't have to worry about that. Oh—could you do something with all the perishable in the fridge? Take 'em with you, or give them away."

  "Okay. And relax, I’ll take care of everything over here, and if you forget something, I can always mail it over to you.”

  “Right, right.” Jane exhales loudly. “Poor Emmy. She was crying so hard over the phone.”

  I pat her hand. “She’ll feel better once she has you there with her.”

  “Yes. Violet, I’m so sorry! Please tell Lily that I’ll make this up to her somehow.”

  “No, don’t worry about anything,” I cut her off swiftly. “I’ll be fine. Lauren and I will have one extended sleepover—it’ll be great. But do me a favor—don’t mention any of this to Mom. She’ll just worry.”