Falling for the Ghost of You Read online

  Ugh, Christmas! What am I going to get everyone? I still don't know about my present for Zane. We wandered into a local gallery in some tiny town once, and Zane had pointed out an exquisite sculpture of a beautiful mermaid sitting on a rock. It had reminded him of a painting he used to be fascinated with as a kid. He even joked that the mermaid looked like me.

  The next day, I drove back to the town and bought it for him. I have no idea if he'll like it. I also got a him a mini model of a Stirling engine, though I’m having second doubts about that one, too. Rich people are so hard to shop for.

  Ugh, so much for getting any writing today. I'll start tomorrow for sure.

  "Go ahead, just get it all out."

  "How could you have told me? When did it start? Did it hurt? I can't believe you did it before me! Where did you do it?"

  I have to pause to take a breath. Lauren just stares at me wearily. I doubt she'll answer most of my burning questions, but I so needed to get them out of my system. I've been repressing them so far, not wanting to add to her stress.

  There are dark circles under Lauren's eyes. She hasn't puked yet, but she looks exhausted.

  "I told you, I'll tell you everything after I talk to the father. Sorry, V. It's such a mess."

  All I can do is nod sympathetically. Anyone can see the embarrassment on Lauren's face to be sitting in the waiting room of a women's clinic, waiting to have her pregnancy confirmed on paper so she can apply for government assistance. Her pride almost wouldn't let her, and I had to remind her it was for the baby.

  "It did hurt," she says out of the blue. "In the beginning. But then, it didn't. It was...I thought I would regret it after the first time, but then I felt—I don't know—I wanted to do it again."

  I'm speechless for a moment. This is Lauren. She doesn’t even like it when people brush against her in the hall. Did she turn into a nympho before my eyes?

  "Do you love him?" I blurt out.

  Lauren appears startled, as if she's never considered the question before. "I don't know," she admits softly, staring down at her hands in her lap. "It's weird to say, but I think it might depend on his reaction."

  I scowl, remembering Damon's cowardly cringe. "He'd better act right. Or, I don't care what you say. I'll stomp him. I'll go all Fat Violet on his ass."

  That makes her snicker a little. "Thanks, V."

  "I'm serious, Lauren." I look her in the eye. "He'd better treat you right."

  She just shrugs and shifts uncomfortably in the hard plastic chair.

  We are quiet for a while. Someone named Sidney is called back and a scared-looking girl who couldn't have been much older than the twins, stands up with a scowling woman. The pair make their way grimly into the back room.

  "Violet?" Lauren says suddenly, diverting my attention.

  "Yeah?"

  "Have you ever talked to Zane about...well, you said he's been with a lot of people...?"

  I grimace at the reminder, but I know what she's getting at. "He gets tested regularly, and he always wears a condom. We talked about that before, when he asked if I was going to go on the pill."

  "Are you going to?"

  "I know I should, but—ugh—it's so embarrassing!"

  Lauren looks around pointedly. "More embarrassing than this?"

  "Good point."

  Her name is called then. I try to go back with her, but she tells me I'm not going to watch her go pee. So I sit back down, left with my thoughts.

  I want to be thinking about Lauren and her predicament, but my mind keeps turning back to Zane.

  Should we wait to have sex? There were so many times we were so close, only to be cruelly thwarted. Is that a sign that I'm not ready yet?

  Physically, I am so there. Really, just thinking about Zane, looking into those amazing dark eyes...I would do anything he asked.

  And maybe that's the problem.

  Ugh, why does it have to be so complicated? It's just sex, right? Lots of people do it, and it’s fine.

  Right.

  ******

  Chapter 26

  Saturday morning.

  It's just a few hours into my work day when Henry, who is six about 6'5" and two-eighty, slips coming out of the shower and falls right on top of me.

  I am squashed. I just barely manage to reach my walkie talkie and call for help. Meanwhile, Henry is trying to get up, using my neck as leverage. I bet even Helize could hear my screams from her room.

  "I'm fine," I tell Amy, the nurse for the third time.

  She's holding my arm, moving it gently. I wince a little when she rotates it to the left.

  "I still want you to take the weekend off," she says. "Get some rest, take hot showers. I don't think you'll have any bruising."

  I shake my head. "Honestly, I'm okay. I can even finish the rest of my shift."

  "Jody's already on her way, and she asked if we need her for tomorrow. She's dying for more hours, what with Christmas being around the corner." Amy smiles and pats my shoulder. "Besides, you've been looking exhausted lately. Just take it easy."

  "Okay," I say reluctantly. "Should I fill out an incident report before I go?"

  "Oh, yeah. I'll do one with you."

  I go up to tell Helize goodbye before I go. When I tell her what happened, she shocks me by cackling her head off. I don't know what's so funny about a naked old man falling on and crushing her favorite flower. That woman has a weird sense of humor.

  I get in my car and text Zane:

  Me: I got hurt at work. :(

  Zane: Are you okay? What happened?

  Me: Old guy fell on me. I'm ok. Good news is I get a 3 day wknd--no school on Monday, either!

  He doesn't text me back, so I start my car and head home. Minutes later, my phone beeps with an incoming message. I check it while waiting for the light to change.

  Zane: I'm coming to get you now. Plan on staying with me for those days.

  My heart lurches excitedly in my chest. He wants me to stay with him! Hell, yes!

  On the way home, I think up a suitable lie to tell Mom. She fusses over me when I explain why I'm home so early, trying to get me to go lie down in bed. I tell her about my plan to spend three days with Rachel (yeah, that one) and her family in L.A., and she insists I should stay home and rest instead. Feeling horrible, I tell her I'm fine, and I'm really, really excited to go. Then she relents, and even tells me I should visit Zane while I'm there. That has me erupting into hysterical giggles.

  I pack maniacally fast, throwing my best underwear and my most favorite outfits into my bag. Then I take a long and thorough shower. Tonight might be the night! I make sure to take care of all my shaving issues.

  When I'm certain I'm shiny and silky smooth, I hop out of the shower and put on the daring purple lingerie Zane bought for me. I haven’t even tried it on until now, and I have to say, I’m very happy with how it looks on me. I slip on my pink Hawaii shirt and my best pair of jeans over the lingerie, then it's time for makeup.

  I text Zane to meet me at Lauren's apartment. He texts me back, saying he’s twenty minutes away. Ugh, he must’ve sped like crazy. He might even beat me there. I stick my bracelet in my jacket pocket so I can put it on once I'm outside, grab my bag, and fly down the stairs.

  I just barely have time to explain things to Lauren when there’s a knock on her door. Shaking her head, she opens the door to Zane, who looks ridiculously sexy and dangerous in his black leather jacket and faded jeans. His eyes meets mine and the heat in them makes me want to fan myself.

  He nods once at Lauren, then looks back at me. “Ready?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, I..” I break away from his intense stare and turn to Lauren. “Use my car whenever, and call me if you need me.”

  Lauren gives me a small smile. “Thanks. Be careful, okay?”

  “I will.”

  Zane grabs my bag, and we say our goodbyes to Lauren. Then we’re out the door and walking briskly to his car.

  No, it’s a truck—a big,
shiny, black one.

  “I didn’t want to waste time to go back and get the car,” he says, opening my door for me. “I hope this is okay.”

  The cab of the truck is roomy and luxurious. “I don’t mind,” I reply, and smile my thanks when he gives me a little boost to get in.

  He sticks my bag in the backseat, then gets in himself. He sits there for a second, staring at the steering wheel. “Are you okay?” he asks finally, starting the engine. "You aren't hurt?"

  I make a face. “Yeah, it’s no big deal.”

  I tell him about the shower and Henry losing his grip on the shower handle, and the horror of it all.

  Zane squints over at me, the corners of his mouth already twitching. "Wait, you're telling me he was naked when he fell on you?"

  I glare at his amused tone. "Well, who comes out of a shower clothed? And it's not funny!"

  "Absolutely not funny. At all," Zane agrees solemnly, shaking his head.

  "Only an immature ass would laugh at that." And Helize.

  "Oh, yeah. A total jackass." He flashes a brilliant white grin at me.

  I can't help but snicker a little. Okay, no one got hurt, and I guess I can see the humor in being trapped under a naked writhing elderly gentleman.

  Yeah, that wasn't traumatic at all.

  "I have a surprise for you," Zane says. He nods toward the console. "Hit that button over there."

  There are literally, like a hundred buttons. I push one and cold air blows in my face.

  "Not that one." Zane laughs and pushes another one.

  Gypsy-like music suddenly fills the cab. I swivel my head to stare at him.

  "Is this the McPigs?"

  "Yup. From their new album."

  My mouth drops open. "But that hasn't been released yet!"

  Zane shrugs modestly. "I know a guy who knows a guy."

  I raise my eyebrows. "Are you sure you didn't illegally download it?"

  "Who, me?" His eyes widen innocently. Then he laughs. "No, little girl, it wasn't obtained illegally."

  I actually don't care how he got it. I can't believe he got it for me! I can't stop smiling as the McPigs shout/sing about seeing John Lennon in a doughnut hole.

  When the song ends, Zane lowers the volume. "Hey, Violet? I just wanted you to know--just 'cause you're staying with me for a couple days doesn't mean I expect anything from you. Know what I mean? We don't have to have to do anything if you're not ready."

  I just stare ahead, smiling a little. "Then how else are you going to see me in the purple lingerie you got for me?"

  Total silence, then:

  "Are you wearing it right now?"

  "Yup."

  Zane swears under his breath, and the truck suddenly accelerates. I gasp and grab the dashboard.

  Laughing nervously, I look over at him. "Not in a patient mood, are you?"

  "I have been patient," he growls. "Keep teasing me like that, and I'll pull over. You'll find out how little patience I have left."

  His rough voice only excites me more, nudging me into dangerous territory. "I could give you a little sneak peek,” I say, tugging at the hem of my shirt.

  Zane curses again and grips the steering wheel with both hands. "Oh, honey, you are so gonna get it."

  "Am I? Finally!"

  He shakes his head, and to my relief, he starts laughing. "Why don't you be a good little girl and take a nap? Quit torturing me."

  "I think I will take a nap," I murmur, snuggling into my seat.

  "Sweet dreams, Violet," he says quietly as my eyes drift shut.

  "I'll dream of you, and it will be sweet," I whisper drowsily.

  ******

  Chapter 27

  I've been sleep deprived for a while, and it suddenly catches up on me. Safe and warm in the comfort of Zane's truck, I fall into a deep sleep.

  When I finally wake up, we are pulling into what looks like a really fancy hotel designed to look like a medieval castle.

  "Where are we?" I ask Zane groggily. I thought were going to your house?"

  "Yeah, well, I thought I'd surprise you." He smiles over at me.

  I am mesmerized by the giant colorful fountain in front of the hotel. Then I gasp excitedly. "That's Marvy Marcus and Princess Pippy! We're in Fairytale Castle?!"

  "Where every girl is a princess and every boy is a pirate."

  I bounce excitedly in my seat. "Zane! Thank you! I never dreamed you'd take me here!"

  "It'll be fun," he says bravely. I'm almost convinced he means it.

  A valet dressed like a pirate takes the truck away and another matey pops up to try and takes our bags for us. Since we only have my bag and his, Zane declines, carrying them himself. While he checks us in, I admire the Renaissance theme in the elaborate lobby. The ceiling is a sparkling masterpiece, cherubic Fairytale Castle characters frolicking in a twilight sky.

  "The penthouse was already booked, but I did manage to get us a suite," Zane says, coming up to me. "Is that okay?"

  I put my arms around his waist and press up against him. "It's perfect," I murmur into his chest.

  Most people might be bothered by the FC Christmas music playing in the elevator, but I love it. I enthusiastically point out the elaborate castles etched into the elevator, and Zane just smiles at me.

  He's being awfully quiet, not taking his eyes off me this whole time. I'm not that naive, I know that guys get that look when they're thinking about sex. He's watching me the way a predator watches its prey right before it's about to pounce. And that weird tension is back—I can feel it sizzling in the air between us, and see it in the strained way Zane is holding himself.

  I try my hardest to ignore it, blaming my jittery movements on the excitement of being here. I accidentally bump into him when when we exit the elevator, and I jump back, as if burned. Zane reaches out to steady me, a sexy smirk on his gorgeous face.

  Okay, the suite is freaking huge and beautiful. The décor is a cross between an old tavern and a sultan’s palace. That may sound like an odd combination, but it works. I love the dark gleaming wood floors and the exotic rugs, and the jewel tones of the elegant furniture. The spacious living room has windows everywhere, with a sliding glass door leading to a balcony with an incredible view of the theme park. I don’t stop to admire the view, however. I want to see the bedrooms—is there more than one?

  There is. There’s the master suite, with a giant fluffy bed and an adjoining bathroom that has a jetted bathtub. The other bedroom has two beds, and the other bathroom has a glass-encased shower big enough for three skinny people. Plenty big for me and Zane. My face becomes too warm when I picture us in there, doing things that have nothing to do with getting clean.

  Are we going to stay in separate bedrooms? That seems pretty silly at this point. Zane brings both our bags into the master suite and sets them on the bed. He’s been watching me with amusement as I zip around, inspecting every detail of our luxurious accommodations.

  Now I find myself standing next to him by the bed, both of us silent and tense. We’re staring at each other as though lost in a dream. Why do I suddenly feel so shy and uncertain around him when a couple of hours ago, I was ready to jump him?

  Come on, Violet, make a move! This is simply the next step in our relationship, a natural progression that’s been a long time coming. And it isn’t like we haven’t already done other intimate…things before.

  Ahh, I shouldn't have thought that—now I'm really blushing!

  "What are you thinking?"

  Zane's voice startles me. He's got that half-smile on his face as he studies my expression.

  "N-nothing," I stammer, turning even more red.

  "Yeah? Why is 'nothing' making you blush?"

  "I don't know!"

  Zane sits down on the edge of the bed and beckons me over. "Come here."

  I go over to him and he pulls me into his lap. When I put my arms around his neck and absorb some of his strength and warmth, I feel a tiny bit more relaxed.

  "You'r
e over thinking things again," he says, resting his hands on my hips. "Just relax, okay? There's no pressure."

  I take a deep breath, inhaling his familiar sexy scent. "I know. But don’t you want to...?"

  One hand leaves my hip and moves up and down my back, rubbing the tension out. "Let's get something to eat first, maybe check out the park. Okay?"

  I can't help the relieved smile that bursts onto my face. "Okay! I'm kind of starving."

  I jump off his lap. Zane sighs quietly and runs a hand over his face. Impulsively, I step toward him, nudging into the space between his legs, and place my hands on his shoulders.

  "Thank you for being so patient," I say, looking directly into his eyes.

  "You don't have to thank me for that."

  "Yes, I do. Thank you for this, too." I gesture at our surroundings.

  Zane pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Anything for you."

  I lean forward to kiss him, and it's only meant to be a light peck. But once I touch his mouth with mine, a wild hunger springs up and overwhelms me. It drowns every little doubt and voice of reason in my head, taking over my limbs. My hands move to cup Zane's face as the kiss deepens and spirals out of control. He responds by aggressively lifting me up and onto him so that I'm straddling his lap.

  A beautiful aching heat rolls slowly through my insides, while the outside trembles with need. I feel desperate, crazy to get closer to him. I yank his shirt off, and hold my arms up so he can return the favor. Then I push him back on the bed so I'm lying on top of him.

  I feel all this frantic need, but...I'm not quite sure what to do! My inexperience makes me clumsy when I want to be bold, when I need to—I don't know what I need!

  Fortunately, Zane takes over. He rolls us so that he's on top, taking control of the kiss. I move restlessly beneath him, my fingers working to undo his jeans.

  Half-laughing, half-groaning, Zane grabs my hands and pins them above my head.

  "Stop, Violet," he says breathlessly. "We have to slow down, or I'll hurt you."

  "I don't care," I tell him recklessly. "I want you to."